Rebooting the Ravn. . .

Ok, as you know, my life has been turned upside down the past couple of months. The girls and I have been reeling from my husband, their dad, leaving during a full-fledged mid-life crisis. I have gone to therapy (they went only once, they did not enjoy it; I found laying on a couch telling someone my woes to be quiet relaxing and helpful; just needed a glass of wine and some nachos and I might have never gotten off that couch!). I joined Divorce Care, a Christian-based support group. I have had countless breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and happy hours with friends. I have reconnected with high school and college friends. I have commiserated with friends through the fence at a soccer game. I have texted my family and had marathon phone calls at all hours of the night. I have gone through ludicrous amounts of wine (recycling bin is overflowing!). I have blogged. I have journaled. I have met with a great attorney. And do you want to know the best part about it? It all has helped! Every. Single. Bit. Of. It! I have all of you to be thankful for and really, really appreciative all of your support! Every last ounce of it.

With that being said, I actually got my first GOOD night of sleep last night. I even had a dream, can't remember it but I think it was a good one too. I woke up happy. In the past, I have actually woken up crying. Not a great way to start the day. I have also noticed my crying has lessened. It's not gone completely but definitely easing up (thank God too because soft Kleenex are not cheap!).

My girls seem to be in a good place, too. They are not really interested in spending any time with their dad but will go stay with him for the occasional night. Hopefully he will be patient with them and allow for them to continue to heal and get over the betrayal and hurt they are also feeling.

Now I am going to start focusing on myself and I have declared this project "Rebooting the Ravn!" Ravn is my maiden name and I like the alliteration. Plus, kind of not liking my married name right now for obvious reasons.

So far, I have started flossing again (hate having to do it with permanent retainers on the top and bottom but it can add 6.4 years to your life per Dr. Rozien, easy no brainer), I got my hair colored darker (slightly new look for me) and I am starting a diet.

I know, DIET really is a 4-letter word and it is something I have failed miserably at for the past 16 years (I gained weight while pregnant with my 15-old and still haven't lost it!). I know my family, and probably most of my friends, are sick of hearing me talk about weight loss. I am too. It's something I think about every single day, especially as I am eating a Cuban sandwich with Doritos! I have tried Weight Watchers more times than I can honestly remember. I have lost weight on a no carb diet only to regain it once I looked at a dinner roll again (this girl is NEVER going to be carb free again!). I have joined gyms, hired a trainer, walked hundreds of miles. The problem is, I just don't think I have ever had the deep down, inner passion or desire to do it. I always thought I would deal with it eventually. If I cut back a little here, used smaller plates every meal, did this or that, the weight would melt off. Let me tell you - not freaking true.

Let me tell you, nothing will give you the desire again to lose weight than to realize that after 20 years off the market, I will have to start dating again (at some time in the very, very, very far future)! So wish me well as I start to turn a major corner in my life and I will leave you with some words I read on Facebook and they just spoke to me!

Thanks www.herquotes.com!
It's perfect for me!

I will be sure to share my ups and downs with you but that is for another post!

It's Fall Y'All!

Ok, first, let me say a BIG THANK YOU to all my friends who reached out to me following my last blog post. I cannot even begin to tell you all how much it meant to me. This really is a hard, scary, heart-breaking, tragic, confusing, crappy time in my life, not to mention my girls. We all are struggling with the process. I am still crying everyday (except for one day the beginning of the month - not sure what happened there), eating (way too much!), and downright struggling with the reality and finality of everything. I have decided, the best way to get my new, little family through all this, is to try to keep to traditions and routines we all know and love.

That being said, Fall came to Seabreeze Dr a couple of weeks ago. Now, since our house is on the market, I chose to hold back (I know, hard for me, right??) and just put up a few touches here and there.

I love these glittery leaves I picked up at Hobby Lobby
in Ocala a couple of years ago.
I think they add a little something special to
 the chandelier. 

The girls and I are going to Asheville (with some other family members) the end of October, a trip we used to make as a family. It will be bittersweet but we are really looking forward to getting away for a few days, breathing in some cold air, looking at the gorgeous leaves, getting lost in a corn maze, and just taking our mind off of all the chaos in our lives (plus, Brevard, NC, has a restaurant that makes wicked good Grilled Pimento Cheese sandwiches and Asheville is known for their craft beers - win, win!). 

So I hope you like my little touch of Fall in the South. Switching to Halloween real soon but that will be for another post!

Getting Back Into Routine . . .

Ok, I am back. It's been a long time since I have written a post and to be quite honest, I have really missed the writing portion of blogging. Now why was I gone for the last 7 weeks, you ask? Well, if I was a guy, I would say life kicked me in the nuts. Being a "more mature" woman, perhaps I could sum it up best and say life kicked me in my super deflated, hanging in my Southern Hemisphere, need a crane to life them up boobs! Too much? Sorry!

To be honest, everything I knew and thought that was true, was taken away from me. My hubby of 17 years (and best friend for almost 20), came home after a week-long vacation without his family, and told me he didn't want to be married anymore and that he was moving out and on. I am a big girl, and you could have honestly knocked me over with a feather. I NEVER expected that. My heart, my future, my family, everything I had worked for in the last 20 years, was taken from me and I had absolutely NO SAY in it whatsoever. For those who know me, not having a say has never been an issue of mine! Now there is a lot more to this story but in the spirit of self-preservation and for the sake of my girls, this is all I am going to say about this right now. If you are a friend of mine and want more "scoop", please don't hesitate to call me. I am leaning heavily on my friends and family right now and I thank God for them everyday. I have also started seeing a family counselor at our church (girls are going with me next time) and joined a Divorce Support Group. Both are very cathartic and will help me move forward.

With all this being said, there are some other major changes going on in our lives right now. I know seriously, what else could be happening? Well, we are selling our house and the girls and I will be looking for a new pad to call home. I have to say, with all the time, energy and money I have put into this house, it sure does look good - for someone else.

So here's the listing so you can see how pretty it looks (professional photos totally make a difference!).

Here's a few of the photos  -

So, when the highlight of your summer is an emergency appendectomy (ahhhh yes, that happened too, I will definitely blog about that later because that story is so freaking funny, you will pop a stitch!), you can honestly say your summer sucked. As the girls and I say Worst. Summer. Ever. But now I have a clean, pretty house and will begin a house hunt very soon. I LOVE looking at houses so super excited about that part.

I will keep you filled in on what is going on in my life, the highs and the lows, as well as share our house search and making that house into a home. We have a lot to be thankful for, a lot to look forward to, and a lot of pain to heal. We will get there, just the three of us (not sure if we are more like the Three Stooges or the Three Amigos, only time will tell?!?!).

Much, much, much more to come, but that is for another post!

Keeps on Going and Going . . .

Ok, so in 2002, we bought a Chevrolet Suburban. Now I did not want this car, it was too big and too much of a gas guzzler. My hubby was the one who kept insisting we needed the extra row.

However, while driving to Miami for our annual Stone crab trip, I had a 3-year-old sitting right next to a  4-month-old in a Jeep Cherokee. Now the oldest daughter wanted to love on the baby and kept touching her, squishing her cheeks, and making her cry (not a 100% sure it was all loving but let's just go with that). By the time we had driven to Ft. Myers (barely an hour and 45 minutes from home), I was convinced we needed a bigger car. Thus the Blue Burb, as we sometimes call it.

Now I will say, I have really come to appreciate this car. The most important reason is that there are three rows and still enough room in the back for lots of anything and everything you need to haul. Plus, if someone rear ends the car, they are not in the back seat with my family - big plus!

So my sister and I took a quick trip to Atlanta to head to the Gift Mart for our on-line store Two Chic Gifting Gals. Going to market is super fun, especially when we discovered the vendor giving away tumblers full of wine!! On the way home from Atlanta, something big happened, or at least it was exciting to me. No explanation needed:

200,000 freaking miles! That's amazing and a heckuva lot of miles!! After dropping off my sister and picking up my girls (a row for each of them!), I started thinking about everything this car has been through:

- driving Girl Scouts to meetings for 9 years

- 8 Girl Scout camping trips

- 10 years of school carpools 

- driving family members home from the hospital after three surgeries

- tons of trips to Gainesville for Gator games

- driving to West Virginia with 6 family members for skiing for my parents 40th anniversary

- driving the Masellis and Hutchisons to Kentucky for the Gator game

- being hit in the front by a KY Wildcat trying to jump the car and instead jumped the curb

- trips to New Orleans, Tennessee, Atlanta, and yearly pilgrimages to North Carolina for fall leaves

- my 15-year-old daughter learning to drive (if she can handle this car, she can drive anything)

- my 15-year-old daughter stopping at her first red light and being rear-ended TWICE by some crazy man (no damage to our car)

- too many to count field trips

- 2 sleepovers at Sea World

- 1 sleepover at Busch Gardens

- hauling furniture, supplies from Home Depot, you name it

- home to a lizard for one, very long, week

- trips to Disney, concerts, the beach, dinners out, church

- no tickets (knock on wood)

- no major accidents (2 fender benders not our fault)

- backed into a pole and scrapped a stop sign (both not visible to driver and both the driver's fault - that would be me!)

- has a J carved in the passenger's, backseat door (oldest daughter to blame for that)

- still has a VCR installed in the ceiling (yes, we were trendsetters at the time!)

- brought home our new puppy (now she's 9)

- no major repairs

I imagine in the next year, the Blue Burb will conk out on us and no longer want to take us where we want to go but all-in-all, this car has served us well. While I will happily go look at new cars (who doesn't love that new car smell??), I will not happily look at the price tags. We have not had a car payment in over 9 years! Oy vey! Off to go load up the car for a sleepover with 10 teenagers at the Tradewinds, but that is for another post!